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Blue Bridge Leadership

Executive Coaching, Career Coaching, Training, Leadership Development, Professional Development

Why Leadership is Like Coffee

April 17, 2012 By Kimberly

Ahhh. I love a piping hot cup of coffee first thing in the morning. Well, and mid-morning and afternoon too. I’m no coffee connoisseur, but I do know a thing or two about the black stuff, or in my case the light tan drink of wonder.

I won’t go so far as to say that real leaders drink coffee, but I will tell you that there’s a comparison that can be made:

Leadership is like coffee.

There’s good coffee and there’s bad coffee. Likewise, there’s good leadership and bad leadership. What do I mean by that? Like coffee that tastes cheap and bland (bad), there are leaders who lead badly. Instead of being the visionary who inspires and engages their people, they utilize a style of command and control. However, people work best when they are able to use and develop their strengths, and when they have choice in how they accomplish the organization’s objectives.

There’s good enough and then there’s gourmet. Okay, I’ll probably get a lot of flack for this, but I enjoy Folgers coffee. For me, it’s good enough. It’s not as delicious as, say, Starbucks, but it’s better than the dollar store variety. Leadership, too, can to some extent be good enough. The law of diminishing returns means that the effort and time it would take from becoming a very good leader to an outstanding leader may not be worth the effort. The additional results would be minimal. So ask yourself if you are a good leader and if perhaps that is good enough. And if you want to be “gourmet,” what will the costs be?

You get what you pay for. I don’t want to pay for a $4 cup of coffee, but I do realize that I get what I pay for. Alluding to the point above–good enough versus gourmet–what are you willing to invest in your leadership style and capabilities? Outstanding leaders will pay the costs: taking time away from other priorities, taking risk, becoming self-aware and looking at oneself with a critical eye, and creating change for the sake of results.

It wakes you up and keeps you up. Coffee will get you moving when you’re in a lull, and will keep you working. Great leaders also know how to get their people moving and keep them moving forward. They inspire their team, motivating them go above and beyond all expectation. Leaders produce the vision and align their teams toward that vision. They provide the perk that jolts them awake, driving passion and purpose toward the common goal.

Brand means something. Who doesn’t know the brands Folgers, Starbucks, and (here in Grand Rapids) Biggby? These companies have spent big bucks and spent countless hours around the table designing their brands. Similarly, leaders have their brands. I’m not referring to the companies for which they work; I’m referring to their own reputations. As a leader, what brand are you creating for yourself? Are you a go-getter, risk-taker, results-oriented leader? Is your brand (reputation) people and culture-centered? Are you known as an excellent listener, or reputed for your coaching skills? Remember that your brand is designed by you, and you must invest regularly to maintain it.

Well, I don’t know about you, but I want to be remembered as a leader unique–no average Joe here (pun intended). My questions to you are 1) Did I miss a comparison between coffee and leadership, and 2) How are you currently developing yourself as a leader? Please comment in the box below.

Filed Under: Leadership, Relationships

20 Ideas for Random Acts of Kindness

April 10, 2012 By Kimberly

Recently in my group coaching program, The Year of Living Adventurously, my participants decided to declare our “Community and Impact” month a month for random acts of kindness. They decided that instead of focusing on their own personal goals for making a difference within the community, they would each focus on acts of kindness. Then we would get together to compare notes.

So what is the purpose of committing to acts of kindness? First, you will learn a lot about yourself. You’ll see just how difficult it is to step outside your comfort zone to meet the real needs of others. Second, you’ll realize that awareness is key to kindness. Thus, you’ll have to slow down, rather than allow your life to whiz by, without a thought to how you can impact others. You’ll also discover that generosity takes practice. As marred humans, we tend to be self-absorbed. Through these acts, your personal growth and development will flourish.

One of my participants said that this month changed her life. For example, she brought gourmet coffees to her co-workers on several occasions (they couldn’t figure out what was wrong with her). She wrote little love notes to her husband (he thought he was being  harassed by some other woman!). These random acts of kindness helped her get outside herself and made a difference in the lives of those she touched. She, too, was blessed in return.

Do you want to know what kind of impact you make on others? Or can make on others?

Take on the challenge yourself.

If you’re ready to take on the challenge, here are some ideas. Again, the point, however, is that the acts are random. While some acts of kindness can and should be planned, you’ll also want to become aware to the world around you. When you do, you’ll see that there are endless opportunities to help your fellow human beings.

Ideas for Random Acts of Kindness:

  1. Pick flowers from your yard and bring them to a neighbor.
  2. When at a restaurant, pick up the tab of another patron.
  3. You have to make dinner anyway, so why not make an extra serving or two and drop it off at an elderly neighbor’s house.
  4. Empty your co-worker’s trash.
  5. Clean the microwave at work!
  6. Compliment a complete stranger.
  7. Take a homeless person out to lunch.
  8. In the grocery checkout lane, let the person behind you go first.
  9. Buy chocolates for your grumpy boss.
  10. Wash the outside of your neighbor’s windows.
  11. Write a card for a friend you haven’t connected with in a while.
  12. Make a list of ten reasons why you love your spouse/child/mother…Give it to them.
  13. Listen deeply to the one who loves to ramble on.
  14. Acknowledge the efforts of someone who works hard.
  15. Write a thank you note to someone who has made a difference in your life.
  16. Offer to mentor someone.
  17. Have a real conversation with a homeless person.
  18. Pick up trash in the parking lot.
  19. Leave a note with an inspiration quote on car windshields.
  20. Humble yourself and pray with someone about their challenges.

I suspect that if you commit to doing one act of kindness daily for a month, you will develop a new habit, which means you won’t have to try so hard. You’ll not only make an impact on the lives of others, but your life, too, will be forever changed.

Share your stories! What acts of kindness have you done? What was the impact? What things do you plan to do? Put your comments in the box below.

Filed Under: Faith and Spirituality, Leadership, Purposeful Living, Relationships

Family Celebrations, Rituals, and Traditions

April 3, 2012 By Kimberly

Timmy walks along the beach, stranded on the island, his parents feared dead, all the while not noticing a pair of yellow, glinting eyes in the green foliage of the jungle behind him….

And so my kids’ bedtime story resumes, the one I make up on the spot, the one that continues for nights on end until I’m bored with the story and decide to put that baby to bed, despite the kids’ heckling and poo-pooing for more. The kids love this nightly ritual. No storybook entrances them like oral stories of knights and princesses, pirates and dragons, clowns and fairies, sometimes all in the same tale. It is one of our traditions, a celebration of innocence and awe and wonder and everything that childhood brings.

Families are blessed by traditions and celebrations. Yes, they take time, and definitely imagination and energy, but they bring a sense of belonging and intimacy.

I know of one family that celebrates each child by giving them “their night.” That’s what they call it—“my night.” Once a week, each kid gets an extra half hour to spend with mom and dad after (and this is key) the other kids are put to bed. Yippee! One-on-one with Mom and Dad! Yeah, the dishes might not get done til morning sometimes, and the newspaper may have to wait. But boy won’t these little kids have great memories growing up, not to mention a special, close bond with their parents.

What traditions and celebrations do you hold dear?

Or perhaps you’d like to develop new ones. Here are some ideas:

  • Friday night family fun night
  • Sunday picnics
  • Board game night
  • Bedtime stories, even for the teenagers
  • Dinner with the family around the table
  • October pumpkin patch visits
  • Monthly potluck with friends and neighbors
  • July Celebration of the Fireflies
  • Family prayer and devotions
  • First day of spring party
  • Monthly family volunteer day
  • Mom and Dad’s (ahem!) night

Regardless of what traditions, rituals, and celebrations you incorporate into your busy lives, the fact that you do so demonstrates love, loyalty, and security.

What are some of your family traditions, rituals, and celebrations? Leave your comments in the box below.

Filed Under: Purposeful Living, Relationships

Developing Relationships in a Lonely, Crowded World

March 29, 2012 By Kimberly

We are lonely people in a crowded sea of faces.

There was a time, indeed, when men went off hunting together. The women gathered in each other’s homes, cooking, talking. Groups of families shucked corn. Not to say this all sounds terribly exciting. But there was a time when people needed each other, supported one another, and lived life together. We actually had not just connections but relationships.

Deep inside we recognize our deep need for others.

But we’re too busy to think about it.

When I give my clients an overall life assessment, the social aspect is usually rated one of the lowest. Even with Facebook and Twitter. We may have thousands of “friends,” but few real relationships. I’ve got over five hundred connections on Linkedin, but not one knows about where I, the coach, feel stuck, or what great needs I have in my own life.

And where does that leave me? And you?

Lonely.

We crave relationship, deep communication, to know and be known. We have a desperate need to belong, to feel that we are valued and needed in return.

Growing and maintaining relationships is an intentional doing. It takes time, energy, creativity, and the willingness to slow down for just a little while to rest in the presence of others.

So what are you doing to enliven your social life? How do you make new friends? How do you keep old friendships from becoming stagnant, only to wither and drop away? Please share your ideas and comments in the box below.

Filed Under: Health and Wellness, Purposeful Living, Relationships

The Gift of Personal Sacrifice

March 22, 2012 By Kimberly

A seven-year-old girl giving her allowance to a food pantry, an executive taking a homeless man out to lunch, a family donating a third of their earnings to charity—all generous gifts. But are they sacrifices, and what’s the difference anyway?

Gift Versus Sacrifice

While a gift can be a beautiful way to show your love, a sacrifice is something that costs you something, significantly. Generosity is typically easy. Sacrifice is not. A gift shows your kindness toward someone. A sacrifice elevates others above you.

Not to say that there’s anything wrong with gifts. Of course not! But what a more wonderful place this world would be if we went above and beyond the gift to the sacrifice.

And so at times I feel guilty because I’ve gifted Jesus with fifteen minutes of my time, when it was convenient. Or when I’ve given change to the Salvation Army lady at Christmas time. What’s a few quarters to me? Or when I’ve given my children a book, when what they really want is me, all of me—my mind present with them, my body physically wrapped around theirs. They want a sacrifice.

When we go beyond generosity and kindness to the level of sacrifice, I think that’s when real living occurs. It’ll cost you something, but the payback is immense. So here’s a challenge to you and to me.

What sacrifice will you make today?

I’d love you to share what sacrifice you are considering in the comment box below.

Filed Under: Faith and Spirituality, Relationships

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